I like you; how do I sign up?
I like you too. Go here for the subscribe form.
Are you real?
Why do you always wear bow ties?
Betsy draws me that way. Her Great Grandpa Bloomer–yes, his real name– always wore them. Must've gotten imprinted when she was a baby.
Who is this Betsy person? What does she have to do with your blog? Why doesn't she just make her own blog?
1) Betsy's the person who draws me. 2) She makes the drawings and pays for the blog with her credit card. 4) Not smart enough.
Are you and Betsy "an item”?
Actually that question doesn't make sense. Here's why:
1. I'm a fictional character, i.e. not real.
2. Betsy tends to be slightly perfectionistic, bossy, controlling and negative, so even if I were real, she's the type you run From, not Toward.
2. See #1 above.
Do you have a job?
Why is your Blog called Vernonacular? It's hard to remember and it's not even a ral word.
It's actually two words. They're stuck together, which is a stylistic literary device called portmanteau.
The first half of my portmanteau is my given name, Vernon. The second half is a clever use of the word vernacular which, as I'm sure ya'll know, means the language or dialect spoken by the ordinary people in a particular country or region.
Vernonacular isn't in the dictionary yet. But here's what it might look like when it eventually gets printed up in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Are the things on your blog true? Or did you make them up? Did they happen to you? Or did they happen to that woman who draws you? Or did she make them up?
Yes, no, no, yes, no.
To break it down: All the things I talk about in my blog are true, but they actually happened to Betsy. (Because I'm... you know... fictional.) Anyway, she said I could tell the stories, provided that
I don't make stuff up.
I keep it clean.
I don't bother her.